Looking at the Problem Wrong

I once said, during a podcast, that when I balk at something the spirits have told me to do, it’s turned out that I was looking at the problem wrong.

Probably the leading contender, in my experience with this, has been my ego telling me I’m gonna just drop dead if I do the thing. Typically of embarrassment—oh, think of how people will judge you. Think of what they might say about you. Think of all the negative consequences of their disregard.

Oh, think of how inconsistent people will think you are if you change your mind. Think of how you want others to think of you.

I hate to say it’s that simple, but in retrospect its been that simple 90% of the time. Papa would say (and has) that the ego is what identifies disapproval with death. If you’d have asked me, I’d have pointed out how often people disapproving of me has resulted in violence (and spoiler alert, a surprising amount), and yet…

I am forced, by experience, to acknowledge that doing whatever it is the spirits have asked me to do, as much as I might be sweating bullets before, has always turned out well. Great, even. I haven’t regretted the decision to obey, though I have certainly put myself through it on the lead up to doing whatever it was.

Papa talks about faith, which he defines as trust without proof. I still think I’m cheating—I know the spirits love me and have judgement that is, frankly, superior to mine, no doubt in part because they aren’t hampered by as limited a perspective. If I know they love me and have superior judgement, I don’t have any reason not to do the thing.

I do, on occasion, get a bit pouty about it.