Good Misses the Point

It’s hard to stay away from the word “good”. We use it for anything we like, enjoy, or want.

I keep running into people in their twenties who are really grappling with the idea of goodness—young men who want to be good and bend over backward to submit to women (or go the complete opposite direction and treat women like they’re evil.) Young women who want to be good and try to be in control of everything in their lives (or go the opposite direction and refuse to control anything.)

They end up resenting each other, self-isolating and trapped in insular communities, their whole self-esteem hung on complying to the rules and avoiding anyone who doesn’t. It’s the sense of safety being “good” promises you that they seem to want most.

I’ve never heard anyone discuss good and evil without discussing safety, typically in the context of themselves as members of society.

I often want to tell them that there is no safety to be found. The idea of being good or evil misses the point, because the point is that you aren’t safe. No matter how nice you are, no matter how compliant you are, no matter how hard you try to girl boss your environment, no matter how submissive you are, you will not be able to make yourself safe.

Extremity does not have safety to give you. Death will have us all, and no amount of preparation will avoid him.

The real question is what you’re going to do with the time you have in this life.

I always want to tell them you aren’t safe, but it’s okay. No one is safe. Don’t let dead philosophers bully you. They spent their time.

Don’t let them spend yours.